The Patriot

Easy as 1, 2, 3... [Click to enlarge]

    Congratulations to ResNet for making this year's Connection Fair the most inefficient ever!  Seriously, I haven't seen lines this long since Marion Barry's birthday party.

    I figured it would be bad, but I had no idea it would be this bad.  Silly me for giving too much credit to a department of GW.

    On Sunday I strolled over to the Marvin Center to pick up my Internet equipment.  I had my iPod in tow, and I was prepared to wait in line for forty minutes or so.  Imagine my surprise to see the sign warning of a two hour wait.

    Forget that.  I had better things to do, like watch My Cousin Vinny on TBS.

    As the day went on, I realized how much I missed the Internet.  I needed to find out how the Browns did over the weekend.  I needed to check away messages and guess how drunk my friends were.  I vowed to get my Internet as soon as possible the next day...and hopefully get there before the crowd and avoid the lines.

    If there's one thing I hate...well, then it's the state of Michigan.  But if there are two things that I hate, the other is lines.

    I got to the Marvin Center at 10:05AM, applauding myself for my initiative.  My mood quickly soured as the doors opened on the fifth floor to reveal the line in front of the damn elevators!

    Ever the optimist, I told myself that the line wasn't really too long, in the scheme of things.  Of course, this was before I noticed how it looped around the gaming tables.  If someone was clever enough to do that, why couldn't they be smart enough to figure out a better way to get us our equipment?

    After an hour and a half in line, plus five minutes of hearing the same instructions that are on the CD, I was out the door with my little blue bag.  I was so certain that the worst was over.  I was so wrong.

    This summer, I received an email from ResNet outlining the new security policies.  Apparently the rapper who brought us "The Thong Song" also makes software which will check for virus updates.  Two years ago, I purchased Norton Internet Security with Norton Anti-virus.  It was not cheap, but it was worth it to protect my computer.  I renewed my subscription this summer, and I regularly scanned my computer for viruses and checked for new updates.  I figured my computer would have no problems with the network.  

    Leave it to a GW "service" department to screw this up.  Cisco Clean Access would not recognize my Norton Anti-virus.  I would have to download the "Corporate Edition" which was offered by GW (for free, to their credit).

    I called the Help Desk, and after minutes of waiting and cursing a blue streak, a technician took time from his busy day to help me.  I explained my situation and asked if the GW program was better than what I had.

    "Well, it's not necessarily better, but it has some different features."

    Oh.  Thanks.

    After another hour and three reboots, I was finally able to access the Internet, with ResNet's approval.  Neither I nor any of my friends had any network problems under the old system, but leave it to the GW bureaucracy to find a way to complicate the process.

    By the way, the Browns lost 23-20, my friend didn't go drinking on a Sunday night, and I can now waste my time writing online rather than wasting my time watching ESPN News ("Uh, Alex? You've already seen this highlight three times today.")

Alex Connor is a junior majoring in Political Science.  He is currently on hold, and his call will be answered in turn.      

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