The Savior of the World
Hunter Patterson
11/5/07 | World
Hallelujah! The world is saved! He has returned from the dark recesses of obscurity to save all of man-kind! We were so much in the dark, drowning in our own ignorance and plight of stupidity but alas! He, the great leader of men has come back to save us, he has deemed humanity worthy enough to know the truth, and we all know that the truth is like a shining lamp unto our feet and it will save us from that hot fate that awaits us.
Oh, what is that you say? You don't know of whom I am speaking? Well, for shame! For I speak of the greatest human to grace this earth, a man of action, a man of integrity, a man for all seasons, be they warm or warmer. I, of course am speaking of the great Goracle himself, or to those who do not fall before his alter in awe and reverence: Al Gore.
A few weeks ago when the rumors began to frolic about the internet that the former next President of the United States was going to win the Nobel Peace Prize, I began to lower myself into a nice warm bath of denial. I refused to believe that such an illustrious award given only to those who had worked endlessly for the betterment of humanity was going to a man who created the first PowerPoint presentation to win an Academy Award.
The reaction on campus could not have been different. Many around campus were elated at the news, and on the day of announcement, I met many a happy person who thought the Goracle really deserved such an illustrious award, and believed that solving "Global Climate Change" was the key to Global Peace; I shook my head in disappointment.
Three questions buzzed through my head as I tried to mentally comprehend that the self-proclaimed inventor of the Internet, a man who dealt with losing an election by making a tired joke of out it whenever he introduced himself to a friendly crowd "Hi, I'm Al Gore. I used to be the next President of the United States", has one the Nobel Peace Prize, and three questions formed in my mind: "Why?", "How?" and "What?!"
Oh, what is that you say? You don't know of whom I am speaking? Well, for shame! For I speak of the greatest human to grace this earth, a man of action, a man of integrity, a man for all seasons, be they warm or warmer. I, of course am speaking of the great Goracle himself, or to those who do not fall before his alter in awe and reverence: Al Gore.
A few weeks ago when the rumors began to frolic about the internet that the former next President of the United States was going to win the Nobel Peace Prize, I began to lower myself into a nice warm bath of denial. I refused to believe that such an illustrious award given only to those who had worked endlessly for the betterment of humanity was going to a man who created the first PowerPoint presentation to win an Academy Award.
The reaction on campus could not have been different. Many around campus were elated at the news, and on the day of announcement, I met many a happy person who thought the Goracle really deserved such an illustrious award, and believed that solving "Global Climate Change" was the key to Global Peace; I shook my head in disappointment.
Three questions buzzed through my head as I tried to mentally comprehend that the self-proclaimed inventor of the Internet, a man who dealt with losing an election by making a tired joke of out it whenever he introduced himself to a friendly crowd "Hi, I'm Al Gore. I used to be the next President of the United States", has one the Nobel Peace Prize, and three questions formed in my mind: "Why?", "How?" and "What?!"
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